The Nod

In society (well at least in America's society) we all belong to groups. And usually we belong to more than one group. The groups can be based on ethnic origin, religion, politics, likes, or dislikes, etc. Usually we belong to more than one group. There are groups we will always belong in but there are groups that just last for a moment. Like in high school you might have been in the "cool kids" group or the thespian group. And of course if you remember high school the groups were unlimited. We usually refer to such groups as cliques, but I don't like that word. Personally for me it has a negative connotation. And I want to use the word group because it is all inclusive to what I am talking about.

Let me get back on track.

Like I said the groups we belong to can last for just a moment, or we are part of them forever. One group I have entered into now is the Mommy group!!

I didn't need to fill out a membership application. I didn't need to know anyone in the group. What got me into the group was having a baby.

The Mommy group is a permanent group. Even when Carl is off and married with children of his own I will still be in the mommy group.

The interesting part of this Mommy group is all the mommies recognize each other. Obviously it is easy to recognize each other when the kids are with us. But there are other signs. Perhaps the stained shirt or blouse. The stains are not noticeable to the naked eye but to the mommy eye they are there. Another sign could be the awareness that a woman walks around with. The awareness of her surroundings and always taking account of where everything is. There can be numerous signs (signs I am still learning and observing). One sign that is the same in all of us is in the eyes. No not the circles underneath from the lack of sleep. But the love that is in them. It is a love that is deep and forever. It is not that giddy love or that twinkle we have for our husband. It is a love that will last forever and nothing can break it. The eye of a mother changed forever when she looked at her baby for the very first time.

At first none of these signs were obvious to me and as I said I am still learning. And I didn't even know I entered into this forever group. What clued me in was the nod. The nod from other women that let's another woman know that she understands. It is a nod of understanding, encouragement, empathy, and support. The nod is not a nod of judgment and it is not confrontational. It is the salute of respect.

It doesn't matter if we know each other or will never know each other. Mothers nod at each other as a symbol of knowing that this journey is forever. Each of us have different techniques and styles but it doesn't matter. The journey is hard but rewarding. I never knew of this journey or group until I had Carl. At first the nods confused me and I didn't understand. But then I realized these nods were exchanges from mother to a mother. A nod that no other woman would notice or understand until she becomes a mother herself.

So as a new mom I would like to give a nod to all the mothers out there. New mothers, mothers of teenagers, and mothers who are now grandmothers. My nod is a hello. My nod is a thank you for accepting me into this group. And my nod is a nod of encouragement and respect!! Here is to us!!