Thank you!!

This post is for all of you and all about you!!!

John and I feel so incredibly encouraged, supported, and loved!! We thank all of you for your prayers.

This week was definitely one of the slowest ever but it wasn't spent in agony or despair. We feel very assured that we did the right thing by sharing what is going on. Family, friends, and even strangers have said the most encouraging things.

I found a forum online at i-am-pregnant.com that caters specifically to parents who are or have been through this diagnosis. The stories have been uplifting and provides a support to me and John. No, we don't know of these people but it is comforting to know that we are not the only ones out there.

This past week has been a test of faith for us (and we know this journey will continue to be a test of faith) but I know now more than ever God is taking us through this for a reason. I was given a scripture this evening Ecclesiastes 7:14 (NIV) "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future."

God created good times and bad, and I know it's easy to be happy when things are good. I think we all find it easier to be happy when things are going right. But God did create the bad. Not as a punishment but to give us perspective. I don't know God's plan or understand His ways all the time. But I do know if He is bringing us to it, He will bring us through it.

Again we just want to say thank you. Family, friends, and strangers we do love you and appreciate the support.

Update on Baby Carl

Okay, so this email is an update on Baby Carl. John and I wanted to fill everyone in on what is going because we know how much he is already loved and right now he needs lots of love and prayer sent his way.

Back in November we had our gender ultrasound. During that time they thought his kidneys were a bit dilated and they were not able to get all the views of his heart like they wanted to. So our OB doctor referred us to NW Perinatal Center to do a follow up ultrasound. November 23rd was our first appointment. At this appointment they found his kidneys were fine and they conducted an eco on his heart, this too yielded a positive result (that being good, everything was fine). However they did find he had mild ventriculomegaly. Ventriculomegaly is a condition in which the ventricular system of the brain is enlarged. His measurements were at 15 mm. The doctor discussed our options including conducting an amnio so we could make the decision on termination. Of course that is not even an option for us! The doctor discussed that this abnormality could be caused by an infection, chromosomal abnormality like Downs, or be nothing. They drew my blood to see if there was an infection and there was not. So the doctor had us follow back up in seven weeks to re-measure the ventricles.

Our appointment was this past Monday January 11th. Unfortunately the ultrasound showed that the measurement increased to 17mm, now moving the diagnosis from mild to moderate ventriculomegaly. This is now eliminating the doctor’s option of this being nothing. At this appointment they discussed also that his kidneys are slightly dilated they are supposed to be at 6mm, and they are measuring at 7mm. He isn’t too worried about the kidneys but they are going to keep an eye on that now too. They are not too worried about it being a chromosomal abnormality; there is only a 5% chance of that being the issue. We can do an amnio in March or he can be tested for that after he is born. We have a follow up on February 22nd. That might seem far away and you might be wondering why we are not getting seen more often. The fact is though, there is nothing they can do inutero. In addition to our follow up in February they have referred us to Dr. Monica Wehby a Pediatric Neurosurgeon. She will look at the images and discuss with us what Baby Carl might need done after he is born. Our doctor through NW Perinatal talked a bit with us that he might need a shunt to drain the fluid after he is born. (At the end of this you will find a hyperlink to an article on ventriculomegaly in case you want to read on it).

As you can imagine this is very scary for us because there is still so much that we don’t know yet. There are many emotions that we are cycling through. Despite the emotions and any crazy thoughts that might go through our head we are leaning on God in this. We are remembering God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Even in this crisis we are going through God has a plan for me, John, and even Baby Carl. God knows Carl more than we do and He is still forming and creating him. Through this whole experience God keeps whispering in my soul, “I am the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End.” God is the final authority and we need to trust in Him.

We are asking everyone to pray for complete health for Carl. We believe in miracles and we believe God is greater than medical technology. In addition could you please pray for me and John that during this time we stay connected and lean on God? Let us not lean on our own understanding and trust the Lord throughout all of this. (Proverbs 3:5)

We love all of you so much and we thank you for the support.

Here is an article from the Children's Hospital in Boston. Ventriculomegaly

Last post of the year, a blog of reflection!

Wow-wee!! Sorry guys its been over a month since my last blog. Let me be honest, I just haven't wanted to. It's not that there is nothing to talk about it's just another thing I put on my things to do and frankly that list is just super long.

Alot has been going on for us the last month. Lots of evaluating and decision making has happened. I'm telling you having a baby changes everything. And that is everything. Not just finances, and social life. But how you view life and you evaluate all your relationships. And it is also a new year soon, and with an end of a year there is evaluation. I think I just got an overload (which I needed).

So honestly there has been a lot of "a-ha" moments for me. It's been empowering but also saddening at the same time. I can honestly say I don't think I have cried this much in such a short amount of time ever. Even in my childhood. I have been scared, excited, disappointed, heartbroken, and empowered all within a span of a month.

Being scared and excited are emotions that I feel together. In just a few short months I am going to be a mother!! Like my friend said I already am a mom, but in a few short months he will be out of my womb and in my arms!!! That excites me but there is definite anticipation and nervousness. I am not scared to be a mom but I am scared of the process. Yes I am scared of labor. I am scared that I am going to chicken out. Even if I do it doesn't matter. It's a natural process. When the baby is ready to come out it's going to come out. But it's the pain aspect. I am not one that shies away from pain and I have been in some serious physical pain in my life. But this is going to be different. Obviously. I heard this is normal and it will be an up and down emotion for me. Thank God I have such supportive people in my life!!

Disappointment and heartbreak has come together for me too. This disappointment and heartbreak has also empowered me though to set boundaries and has enabled me to walk away. The pain of broken relationships has come to the forefront in the past couple of months but just within the last couple days I have realized I can break the cycle and no longer put myself in that path. Shockingly I realized I brought the pain on myself because I had expectations that I knew would never be met. People in our lives represent who they are and when they show consistently who they are it is unfair to expect change or demand change. However, I can change how I am. And I am choosing to do better for myself and set a better example for my son. It's okay to love and care for people but we don't have to put our own emotional health in harms way to love people.

As you know this is the end of the year and a New Year is right upon us (30 minutes for me) and I am blessed to have gone through what I have the past month. I have realized my value as a person and what I want for the future. In the past I have known what I need to do, but now I am empowered to take action. Like I told a friend tonight I have closed a book in my life, not a chapter but a book. This book should have ended along time ago but I made the choice to leave it open and try to write more chapters. And it is clear to see the chapters were unnecessary and I was just dragging it on and on. I didn't want to let go. Have you ever read a book or watched a movie that dragged on too long? My book should have ended five chapters ago. So now it has there is an end. And while I am sad and its going to be hard not to pick it up again I feel at peace. God has been trying to show me for so long and I didn't follow.

John made a big change just within the past week also. He made the decision to close the business. He worked long and hard but the closing doesn't bring us loss. It brought lessons, maturity, and growth. John has a new perspective and was grateful for the experience having his own business brought him. I am super proud of him, as I know all of you are.

So there is my last post for the year. I wish you all an amazing 2010!!! And let's pray for Baby Carl who is already a promised blessing for 2010!!! Thank you all for your support!!! Remember put God first and all other things will fall in place!


Here is a belly update, yes I am gettin big! LOL! (taken last week @ 25 weeks)

20 weeks and counting!!!

Updating just to update! LOL! Today marks 20 weeks!! Now for those of you that might be tracking this closely and has kept up to date on the due date, you might be wondering why I am posting today. That is because they moved my due date from the 9th to the 7th. I didn't find it to be that big of a deal, but the Dr. said the ultrasound gives the most accurate due date. So it has been changed. Does it really matter? No. The baby will most likely not come on that day, after all only 5% of expectant mothers give birth on there actual due date.



So there have been questions on his name. We have no problem sharing this because I am not worried of anyone stealing it, and I know everyone will be nice. Even if you don't like the name you will be nice because that is the socially appropriate thing to do. So anyway his name is:

John Carl Driskill IV

That's right, he will be the fourth!!! So now you are thinking are we going to call him John? Perhaps John Junior? Or perhaps will use initials? All of these thoughts will be incorrect. Not going to call him John, because John is John or to his family he is JC. Which means we are not using initials either, mainly because John doesn't like initials. And John Junior is just too much. So what name will we say everyday for the rest of his life, or until he tells us otherwise?

Carl

John's grandfather, the original John Carl Driskill, went by Carl. He unfortunately never got the opportunity to meet his grandfather. But his aunt created this amazing book that goes over the genealogy of his family. With that comes pictures, I like old black and white pictures. There is a picture (a few actually) of his grandfather and he seemed like a wise, confident, intelligent man. And I think it would be nice to have the name Carl back in the family. Anyway the point I am making is the name Carl is good name that isn't used too much anymore. It's a strong name. It also means strong one. And in my personal opinion I don't think they are talking neccesarily about physical strength. I think they are talking about character. So anyway that is what our little boy's name!!

Our little blob is now our little. . . .

So the big day was this past Friday!! That was the day we were finding out if we were having a baby boy or baby girl.

The day started off really early for me; 5am!!! The appointment was for 730am and you needed to check in 15-30 minutes early. You also needed to show up with a full bladder. There idea of a full bladder is 32 oz of water! By the time I finished 20 oz I was done!!! Before I was pregnant when I had a full bladder I toughed it out, but this made me nervous because my baby likes my bladder, the feeling is not mutual. So the whole time I waited I thought I was going to pee my pants. After what felt like an eternity the technician called us back.

Then the fun began my stomach was slathered with the nice cold jelly and then the pictures began. Unfortunately I had to wait another long eternity while he looked at the placenta and other stuff blah blah. Then he measured/listened to the heartbeat; 154 bpm!! Then I saw my baby!! All curled up and most likely sleeping. It just amazed how much growth there was since our last ultrasound. The technician looked at all the important features, heart, head, kidneys, spine, diaphragm, etc. Then he started to look for the anatomy. That took forever!! Our baby didn't want to show us. I changed positions and it still didn't want to cooperate. The technician said he was pretty sure he knew what it was but he wanted a better picture because the umbilical cord was down there. Then the baby decided to put it's hands down there. But finally the technician got the picture he needed.



As soon as he typed that up there I thought John was going to dance, jump, and do cartwheel! If there would have been the space he might have! LOL!! So while I look at the picture and don't really get it I am just happy to know so I can start planning!!! I am so excited to show our son the amazing world of basketball and football!! John is excited to show our son the amazing world of cars, destruction, dirt biking, and giving me a heart attack!! LOL!!!

Ever since the appointment I have been on cloud nine!! I can't stop looking at my little guy.
I haven't even really seen him yet and I already think he is absolutely amazing and beautiful!!!

Now as far as the contest goes; I want to thank everyone for playing. The turn out was awesome!!! 41 people entered 21 guessed boy and 20 guessed girl! Pretty even. However, the boy guess won and out of those entries our cousin Chris won!!!

So there he is everyone!! Be ready to play in the next contest that will start around end of March!! GUESS THE SIZE (pounds & inches)!!

GUESS THE SEX!!!

All righty boys and girls it's time to enter into a little contest called GUESS THE SEX.

Pretty self explanatory but let me explain how it works.

Contact me through my blog, email, facebook, phone, or however you want. Tell me if you think we are having a boy or girl.____________________________


From there I will enter your name in the boy basket or the girl basket. ALL SUBMISSIONS NEED TO BE MADE BY THIS THURSDAY!!!

The next day (FRIDAY!!!) we will be finding out what we are having. Based on that I will go to whichever basket is the one then randomly draw a name out. The name selected will receive an awesome small gift. I will contact the winner that day!!

So there it is. Have fun and play the contest. The rules are simple: just guess by this Thursday, oh and there is no bribing of either me or John.

Again, ALL SUBMISSIONS NEED TO BE MADE BY THIS THURSDAY!!!

Hope to hear from you soon!

Bladder Bed

We went to our check-up today!! The baby's heartbeat can now be heard, it's quite amazing actually. Only problem is my doctor had some difficulty finding our little one this morning. She is moving the stick around and just couldn't find it. We talked about last week when I went in (for the leaking, which turned out to be my bladder). She noted that last week they found the heartbeat with no problem. Despite the difficulty I remained calm because I am learning a bit about my little one's personality. It likes to be difficult and is one for the dramatics, lol!!.

The Dr. moved the wand a little lower and then a little lower and there it was, the heartbeat! Right on top of my bladder!! My baby has been quite comfortable there for a week now. After talking to my mom last week there is a chance this is a permanent home. When she was pregnant with me I camped out on her bladder the entire time.

So I have decided there must be something really comfortable about my bladder. Perhaps because I am always drinking water it is squishy and it likes it. I wish I could just ask our little one what is so enjoyable about it but it will be it's little secret. John finds it quite hilarious when I sneeze or move and I go, "Oh crap, I will be right back." He offered to buy me Depends. My response was a glare and a bunch in the arm.

That is how our little one is doing. It has made my bladder a bed for itself. So the check up went well. The baby is fine. I too am alright for the most part. I need to eat more protein and my next appointment they will be checking my glucose. It's a bit early to be doing it but because of family history and some slight concerns now we are going to look into it.

Before I end this blog you are probably all wondering when and if we will be finding out the sex. Yes, yes we will. We are all about supporting gender identity and roles in society. So on November 6th we will find out!!!! In just a few weeks our little one will no longer be it or baby. It will have a name (yes we already have names). So be on the lookout for that update.

Anyway for now John & Aimee + Baby are doing quite well!!

15 weeks going on 16!

Joys of Pregnancy!

I will probably have lots of joys that I will share along the way. Some will be genuine others will be sarcastic. Hopefully my tone never comes across as resentful or annoyed because in all honesty I am super happy that I am going to have a baby, but sometimes the journey there isn't so pleasant.

An amazing joy is knowing that each day the baby is doing something new! And for me it is amazing how just overnight my belly expands.

Speaking of an expanding belly; with that comes the joy of stretchmarks. Not all people experience this but I knew before I was even pregnant I would get stretchmarks. Last night my first one appeared. It was the strangest feeling actually. I got this crazy crazy itch! I will note that I didn't scratch instead I went to find the lotion and as I stood up all the sudden there was this feeling of release. I looked down and there it was, one sole stretchmark. At first it bummed me out and then I was like hey this is just another joy of pregnancy. And while it seems a bit unflattering and depressing the overall picture makes it better.

One joy that I was not expecting was the hair. Everyday I am plucking one or two dark noticeable hairs from my chin line! But that isn't anything. You should see my stomach. My stomach is almost as hairy as John's (no offense babe, but we know, lol). And it really did come on all of the sudden. One day I said out loud to John, "You know this is weird, my stomach sure does have a lot of hair on it." His response, "Yeah I know I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to hurt your feelings but it is definitely hairy." Maybe this is too much information for you but I just thought I would share with you. Hormones can cause crazy things to happen to your body and each woman is different. Nobody once told me that my stomach could turn into a grassy knoll, so I am choosing to make it known now to anybody that might become pregnant.

So there it is just a couple pregnancy joys that I wanted to share. While calling them joys might seem odd please trust me that anything that happens to one's body during pregnancy is amazing because you are carrying life!!! How cool is that?!

Surprise! It's a kitten!

Yea for my first bizarro prego dream. I have heard many stories of weird pregnancy dreams. I have always laughed and find them to be cute. A few people lately have asked me personally if I have any weird dreams. The answer has been no, until now. Let me say this first; there is nothing cute or funny about my dream. It was just weird, bizarre, and . . . yeah. Just plain bizarre. So it was a few nights ago that I had this dream.

I am in labor. It's time for me and John to go to the hospital. I vaguely remember not really wanting to but I can't remember why. And I remember feeling like it was too early to be having the baby but John and the doctors were not worried. So I am in the delivery room and after a few pushes I am done. I ask what it is and no one would answer and I didn't hear any crying. Then they hand it to me. Well it really wasn't an it. It was a kitten. I gave birth to a kitten, one, just one kitten. Oddly enough it looked my cat at home. Now it wasn't small like a kitten when they are first born but it wasn't a full grown cat either. The next thing I remember very vividly is I was nursing. I was nursing the kitten!!! As I was nursing the kitten I turned to John and said, "Well take back all the gifts and tell everyone it is no big deal because we didn't have a baby we had a kitten."


So there it is, the dream isn't cute, but it is definitely bizarre. I even remember waking up a bit confused because it felt so real. Even the sensation of actually nursing a kitten felt real. Ugh. I hope these dreams get better!

Lists

I find I am living my life through to do lists. And sadly I have lots of unfinished to do lists. Therefore I feel like I am not living my life. My life is nothing but unfinished to do lists. I am looking forward to when I am done with school. A huge chunk of my to do time will be freed up to be exchanged for baby time. And I am looking forward to it.

If you all didn't know April will be a month of transition for me. The baby will come and I will finish school all in the same month!! This also means I will not be working because I will be on maternity leave. This at first was overwhelming but now I am at peace and realizing that April, May, and June will be wonderful months for me.

But until that time comes I am surviving on to do lists. The to do lists I make over the next six months are going to need to be completed.

So here is where I leave you to go and make my lists.

The 2nd Trimester is here!!!

So I feel like I am already a bad mother. Why do I say this? I haven’t really been journaling or focusing too much on my pregnancy. I obviously know I am pregnant and I am aware because of things I stopped or started doing. But I feel like I am not making a big deal of it like other people have so far. But after Friday I feel that has changed.

Friday marked the beginning of my twelfth week. I am now in my second trimester and I only have 28 weeks or less to go!!! I didn’t realize what day it was until I looked at my baby ticker on my blog. There it was: You are 12 weeks 0 days. You are in your 2nd trimester. 28 weeks left. I saw that at 5 pm right before I left work. In that moment everything seemed to stop. There it was; the first part of my pregnancy is over. The feeling was surreal, and now I feel a sense of urgency. There is so much I want to have done before the baby gets here. And I do need to move with a sense of purpose. If there is one thing I have learned in the past few years it is the fact that time goes by fast.

Here it is I guess it has hit me. I am going to be a mom! I am having a baby!! My belly is firm and growing and soon I will be able to feel it. All in one moment nothing else matters in the world except my child. Within my body God is creating a person, not just a body, but a person someone who will smile, laugh, and cry. Someone that might be an athlete, a writer, an actor, or a missionary; the possibilities are endless. I can look at me and John and get an idea of who they might be or what they might look like. But regardless the child inside of me will be an individual that will have its own purpose. God already has a path laid out for him and her. It will be our responsibility to guide and instruct him or her.

So there it is; our responsibility is great. It’s no longer about us. There is a child that God has given us responsibility of, our choices no longer just affect us but an innocent child that already trusts us and relies on us. I can’t put into words how excited, scared, and overwhelmed I feel. But all I can say is I love my baby.I am so excited for the next months ahead of me. Keep praying for us and our baby! And here is a pic for ya!

12 weeks (got a little bump, and thankful my butt still looks good, lol)

The Pregnancy Story

I have been super excited to write this blog for the last couple of months. And now here it is after much procrastination. As most of you know I am PREGNANT!!!! Writing those words seem so surreal for me. As most of you know John and I have been trying to conceive for a year and a half. It’s been a long year and half full of disappointments and questions. Along our journey I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I was glad to get a diagnosis but bummed to find out it could be hindrance in trying to conceive. After a long time of frustration a book of recommendation was made to me. Two of my FB friends recommended reading TCOYF (Taking Charge of Your Fertility). Abby told me after reading the book she got pregnant. I was a bit hesitant at first; I appreciated the encouragement and suggestion I just didn’t want to get my hopes up. Well sure enough I got pregnant immediately after reading the book!! The book gave me so much info that I just didn’t know. It’s amazing that I have been having my cycle for 14 years and it took one book to really explain everything to me, and I mean everything. Ovulation wasn’t just about days. This blog isn’t about TCOYF but here is the website http://www.tcoyf.com/. I recommend every woman reads this book!! AMAZING!!!

Now let me be honest I was reading the book around the time we conceived so I wasn’t even really thinking about it. I even told John that I thought it would be a good idea to wait until September to start trying again. So you can imagine my surprise when the doctor told me I was pregnant. This brings me to how I found out. The story doesn’t start off good so be prepared.

On July 30th I started feeling really bad. Not pukey bad but severe abdominal cramps. I could barely move that’s how bad the pain was and of course other things didn’t work just right if you know what I mean. So at 4 am on the 31st I had John take me to the emergency room. So they immediately took me back and took my blood and had me pee. Now honestly my cycle was due the next day so we started speculating that the pain was that and the reason it was so severe was because of my endometriosis. All I know is I wanted the pain to stop. While I was waiting on labs I slept and while I slept John went to the car and slept. I wake up to a tap on my shoulder and it is the doctor he takes a seat and says in a serious tone, “Well your labs came back and your pregnancy test is positive.” My response was, “Really? Ok”. After a year and a half of wanting this that was my response. Then my next immediate reaction was, “Oh my God is that what is causing my pain is there something wrong?” Then of course I called John and told him he needed to come back inside. When he came back he definitely had a look of worry he took my hand and asked what was up. I told him my labs came back and I tested positive for pregnancy. I will never forget the smile that broke out on his face. But unfortunately our happiness was replaced with worry. Is this new found pregnancy okay? So over the next 10 hours I had two different ultrasounds. Well the pregnancy was so early they weren’t able to tell anything. So I was released from the hospital and they scheduled me to come back the following Monday to get my blood drawn to test the hCG levels. Then I had to come back on Thursday for a follow up appointment and more labs.

Well that Thursday after all my labs and review of them the doctor looked at me and said, “Yes you are definitely pregnant and if you haven’t had any more problems I am assured things will progress nicely.” So there it is, that is how we found out we were pregnant! Definitely not the way I thought and I always had a different idea for how I would tell John but this is the way the cards played out. It turns out what sent me to the hospital in the first place was most likely food poisoning!! So in short, there you go, and you can expect blogs throughout the pregnancy and lots of pics!! Baby Driskill will join us April 9th, 2010!!

Our super duper amazing anniversary (and my super 25th birthday)!

Just last week John and I celebrated our anniversary, along with that celebration we celebrated my 25th birthday. What did John have in store for me? A weekend away!! I am proud of my hubby he wouldn't tell me where we were going. So we set out on our trip.



I had nothing better to do than take random pics while we were driving!

Our first stop was in Tillamook. We went and had lunch with some of my favorite people! Aunt Pam and Uncle Mark. We even took a trip up to their house that they're building. Unfortunately I took no pictures.

Then it was on the road again going down Highway 101 to our final destination. . . LINCOLN CITY! John took me for a romantic weekend away to a place called Beachfront Manor. It was absolutely perfect. We had a nice comfy big bed. Room came with a "fireplace" and flat screen. Our room also had a balcony with our own personal hottub that looked over the ocean!! The following pics can only give a little bit of what it was like!

I want this sign for our own room!

On our trip we enjoyed some really good food (must go to Maxwell's if ever in Lincoln City). The shopping was good. And just the time spent together was amazing. And I also got to meet John McCain!!

John wouldn't let me bring him home. :(

Always adding his weird faces to perfectly cute pictures

Our last night there we went down to the beach and had a campfire. Early on John thought it would be good idea to feed a Seagull. Turns out you feed one then a bunch of them show up. I really thought it was going to end badly (have you seen the movie Birds?). Eventually they went away and we enjoyed more of our Sparkling Cider and sitting there watching the sun go down and were mesmerized by the campfire that danced in front of us. It was a perfect last night!

Started out with one. . .

. . . then a few. . .

. . . then way too many!

John took pleasure in chasing them away!

Our last day we spent out on Siletz Bay. It was quiet and enjoyable and we played in the sand!

John mischievously decided to bury my legs!

I did one better and decided to bury most of him!

He started to erupt!

Needless to say it was one of the best anniversaries and birthdays thus far! I am so excited I get to be married to John and can't wait for the years to come!!

Where has the time gone?

Wow! Today is July 20th. It's already July 20th and in just a couple hours it will be July 21st. More than halfway through the month and already halfway through the year!! It's amazing how time goes by so fast. All the plans that have come and past. Sometimes I wish I could stop time and spend time with each of my friends and family. How many times have I said, "Yeah let's get together." or "Yeah we need to go do that." But when do those times come up? It seems I never have any free time. I work 40 hours a week then when I am home I am doing homework or housework. Is it time I just say whatever? Or maybe I just need to find a different routine.
Maybe I need to stop wasting time. How much time do I spend on the computer or watching TV? Probably too much.

I can't stop time or slow it down. But I am breathing and God is giving me time. It is time I just start to use my time wisely. Make time for God, family, and friends. I am one person and it is impossible to do everything. The pressure I put on myself causes me to lose valuable time. So it's time to set the alarm start my day and live each day to the fullest!!

VA Healthcare: Time for a Change!

Going to the VA is like gambling in Vegas. Sometimes you hit big, other times you lose. . . badly. Since leaving the Army the VA has been my primary healthcare. There was a stint when we had BlueCross but for the most part it has been the VA.

As you may know that means my healthcare is free. That is great and I consider myself fortunate to have free healthcare. But is anything really free. What cost does this come at?

We can go into details like taxes and what the government pays into it, but that is not what I want to address. What does the soldier have to pay or give up to receive such benefits?

Time. Going to the VA isn't like going to an appointment at a doctor's office. You have a scheduled appointment that they recommend you show up 10 to 15 minutes prior and then sometimes you end up waiting 30-40 minutes after your scheduled time before being seen. The interesting part is there are signs that say, "If you have been waiting more than 15 minutes past your appointment time please notify the receptionist." What is the answer that is waiting you when you let them know? "Yes we know it's busy." Or "I'll let them know". The latter sounds nice, but when you sit back down and watch you notice they never pick up a phone or say anything to anyone.

Now sometimes, and actually alot now, you don't wait that long and you are whisked right in. However, the doctor does everything possible to make it the shortest appointment of all time. He or she makes you feel like you are not really being heard and when you are trying to press upon them the issue and what is going on they are quick to come up with a solution like; pills, rest, give it time, or referring you to someone else just to go through the same process.

On the subject of the actual appointment and doctors there is another thing that veterans lose out on. Care. It is a hit or miss. Sometimes you get someone that cares or someone that doesn't care. And the sad part is the latter is more likely to take place. Saying the doctors don't care is such a strong claim but the behavior and attitude shown to veterans is just that. Here is an example, You go in and see the doctor and he or she asks what is going on. While you are talking there back is turned to you and they are typing on the computer. They say the occasional, "Uh-huh", or "hmmm". Then they turn around and tell you to go the pharmacy. VA doctors in my opinion are pill pushers.

Now let me come into the defense of the doctors. It's not them that is flawed it is the system. The doctors don't just have some patients they are in the triple digits. There are thousands of veterans that require care and the doctors are left with seeing numerous patients. I don't know how many they see in one day. But when I go to the VA hospital there are a numerous amount of veterans. Yes there are various departments but I can say the workload is most likely heavy.

This leaves a dangerous situation. What situation is that you ask? It's the unanswered health concerns of veterans. And at times perhaps life threatening concerns. Let me share with you a couple stories that are personal experiences for me. After serving in Iraq I sustained some injuries to my right shoulder, back, and right knee. After returning home it was a joke trying to get some help. I was just given pills all the time; percocet, oxycodone, vicodin, robaxin, etc. I ended up becoming an addict. I will not blame them because I am responsible for my own choices. But that was the only help I got while in the Army. Out of the Army I was excited to hopefully finally get some help. After all the Portland VA is supposedly one of the best. The first year was nightmare. Same thing; pills. I was done with pills I knew I had a problem and on top of that I just wanted answers and solutions. I kept getting told about my right shoulder that I was fine, ice it and take ibuprofen. My lower back I was told I just have some bulging discs. Rest when inflammed, ice, and ibuprofen. So when it came to right knee I didn't even bother. There was a glimmer of hope when it came to my migraines. They did a CT scan and it came back normal, but the doctor wanted me to try Zomig because it helps migraines. I was okay with that it was non addictive and unfortunately migraines just plague some people. Well the night I got them I took one at the onset of my headache and layed down. Five minutes later it felt like there was 300 pounds on my chest. John was at work and I couldn't breathe. I could barely move. Thank God for cell phones it was right by me. I had to call 911. After that I don't remember too much until I got to the hospital. They started benadryl through my IV. Now in the civilian hopsital I gave them my list of allergies. The doctor was shocked to find out that they gave me Zomig with me being allergic to Haldol. They are in the same family. When I followed up with my VA doctor the following week, he didn't apologize at all. He made a note in my chart. Then he said, "Well just take excedrin for you headaches." Then he sent me on my way.

To give up an update on my back and shoulder; the year we had Bluecross both issues were handled. Had surgery on my right shoulder where they fixed two tears and took out part of my collarbone. Now I am fine. My lower back they sent me to an osteopathic doctor that was able to help me with that. Yes I still get pain in my back sometimes but I am able to take what the doctor showed me and help it.

Now for my right knee. Just recently I saw an orthopedic doctor at the VA. He definitely said there was alot of fluid in there and wanted to do an MRI. Well he didn't see anything on the MRI so he told me I would grow out of it as soon as I reached my thirties. To be honest I don't even know what to say to that. Fortunately my job just gave me full time and I start getting benefits the end of the month. I think it's sad that I am excited to go see a doctor outside the VA system.

I can buy into the conspiracy theories that the reason the system is this way is so they don't have to pay out more money in actually helping veterans or that they don't want the truth of what the war has done to the bodies of young men and women. But that is all they are theories. All I know is there needs to be a change. Veterans should be getting the same care that is offered out in the private sector, if not better.

We put our lives on the line for this country. We were shot at, bombed, and exposed to bacterias that we don't have in our country. The least they can do for all veterans is give them better healthcare.

I know I have started asking questions (and unfortunately hung up on or given the run around). Perhaps it's time we are start asking questions and asking for a better system. Veteran or not it's time we start to ask for a change.

Long time no talkie!

Hello world!! Yes I still blog, I just got to busy. :( But no more, I like to blog and I am going to be way more candid then I use to be. So here is my disclaimer:

You might not agree with me, this happens alot. So the things I might say or post you don't have to agree with but I do ask if you disagree with me, do so respectfully. Understand that this a personal blog and in no way do I speak for millions. I might blog about things that make you smile or might make you cry. Or shake your fists angrily at the screen. This is John's blog also but please understand that it most likely me (Aimee) that is blogging all the time. So why not just have my very own blog? Because I like to think that you all care just as much about him. In addition my blog is in no way to insight sympathy, jealousy, or hate. I hope at times my words might be insightful, encouraging, or empowering. But since I am one to ramble it might just be at times (or most of the times) my soapbox.

End of disclaimer.

So what has happened since my last entry, which was back at the beginning of April?

Chinese and Russian cyber-spies allegedly infiltrated the US electrical grid.


North Korea departed the six party talks and resumed its nuclear program.


The Camel Reproduction Center in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, announced the birth of Injaz, the first cloned camel.


Argentina claimed, 1,700,000 square kilometers of the World Ocean.


SWINE FLU!


Iraq did not extend the deadline for the US Armed Forces to withdraw from the Iraq War.


Jacob Zuma was inaugurated as President of South Africa.


President Barack Obama proclaimed May 2009 as Jewish American Heritage Month.


Kris Allen won American Idol.


Harvard University discovered a molecular mechanism that regulates coagulation.


TV COMPLETED THEIR SWITCH FROM ANALOG TO DIGITAL TELEVISION!!!


Eddie Bauer went bankrupt!


Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, MICHAEL JACKSON (KING OF POP), Billy Mays, Karl Malden, and Steve McNair have all died!


Independence Day!

That was just some of the millions of things that have happened! What has happened in my life?

work
work
work
work
school
school
school
sleep (sometimes)

So there you go! An update and disclaimer all in post. Be ready y'all I am gonna be doin me some bloggin! (Yeah I don't really actually talk like that)

Uncle Richard

I have considered myself very blessed to marry such a great man and to join into an amazing family. I always here stories about how tragic the in-laws may be. But that is not the case for me. John's family from day one (before we were married) embraced me. I love them just as if they were my own blood. This past Saturday our Uncle Richard was called home. He was an amazing man with a an incredible gift for music and compassion. I am so blessed to have known such a man. The following article was written about him, and I would like to share it with all of you!

Chaplain Remembered Fondly

Yes we are moving!!!

We're moving! It was a difficult decision but my family needs me right now. We won't be gone forever. We are going to keep our house here in Portland and just rent it out. We hope to be back in a few years. Many people have asked questions regarding John's business. We are still trying to figure that out. He has a good friend that is willing to come in as a business partner. While we are gone he would run it and split the profit 80/20. We are still praying about it.

As far as the other details we are moving right after I graduate next April 2010. So we have one year left with good friends and family. But it's definitely not a good bye, just a temporary see you later.

I know this news is all of a sudden. Feel free to call us and lets get together y'all!!!

Here is a link to some houses we are thinking about, let me know what you all think!

Houses!!!!

The Cloud. . .

Ladies this blog is for you.

I have decided periods suck! Let's be honest though, are they ever enjoyable? And if you think about it, periods don't just effect us one week out of the month. There is the week before, I know for me that is when my boobs start to hurt and I get a little moody. For me it feels like there is a cloud that comes over my head and looms above me. Then the week of the period the cloud rains on my head and sometimes it throws some lightening. Then the period is over. As sudden as the storm came in it leaves just like that. . .sometimes!!! There are those times it doesn't know what it is going to do. Have you ever had the fake out? You think its gone and you take off the rain boots, and then BAM. . .sneak attack!!!

I know it probably sounds like I am whining. And yeah I am. But I hate the week long depression and the mood swings that come with it. It's bad enough I have to bleed but I hate wreaking havoc on my poor husband. The poor guy probably thinks his wife has been invaded or abducted.

But anyway I am just pretty gloomy and irritated and I wanted to vent my frustrations at the cause of it all. Isn't that odd that a little period creates so much mental frustration. That is probably why the husband calls it a mental stration!

Anyway ladies feel free to share in my frustration or put me in my place and tell me to get over it. LOL!