Throwin in the towel and givin it to God!

I am now a few weeks into my new job and I love it! For those of you that don't know I got a job as an Adolescent Counselor. My job can get draining but I find it is very rewarding. I love helping teens realize their potential and show them the control they have over their own choices!

My whole life I have always loved counseling people and trying to help them. I love being that friend that people can talk to.

A very hard lesson I have been learning the last few months is realizing that some people are not ready for help. It is usually best if people ask for your help. That is usually what I do but when it comes to family sometimes I want to rescue them and just show them how better things can be. But it only causes heartache! The worse is when they ask for help and then you realize they only want enabling and not actual help. I am sure I have enabled him once in awhile but it's only hurting him and me!

I have realized it is easy to work with addicts and help them find better coping skills but when it comes to someone you are super close with it doesn't always work out the same. It's really easy to recognize certain behavior and patterns in clients. It's easy to tell them the hardest part is first admitting you have a problem. What I didn't know is how hard it is to admit that someone you love and care about so much is an addict. Then it is really hard to realize that even though I might have the skills to help someone else I might not be the person that can help the one I love.

The reason it is probably so difficult is because of all the various emotions I feel. I have felt empathy, sympathy, apathy, confusion, frustration, anger, sorrow, irritation, and it goes on and on. I have thought about getting help to do an intervention. But then I am struck with the realization I would be the only one trying to intervene! So I have pretty much been pouring my heart out and offering so much. But I have been met with nothing but heartache. Then I am left asking myself when is enough, enough?

I am only one person. So is it evil of me to wash my hands of it? I have been pushed into a corner and I am throwing in the towel. It breaks my heart but there is nothing more I can do. And that is just it. My trust and faith need to go where it should have been all along. God our Lord and Savior is the Almighty Counselor! Who am I? Who am I compared to Him? Even though my heart is breaking right now I know through God all things can mend.